Posts tagged ‘connectedness’

This blog is a part of my lifelong quest for healing. I am 42 years old and have only been “happy” for the past 10. My childhood and young adulthood brought much misery. I only found peace when I learned to love myself, which was soon followed by finding the love of my life. My husband is the first person to KNOW me completely, some things even before I was able to accept or acknowledge myself. I am a master at compartmentalizing. I have locked things away for so long that I am surprised when they surface in my consciousness. This was finally apparent to me when I had a traumatic experience and I went to my therapist and said “I don’ t want to forget this time, I need to remember this, or else …”. I can bury pain within days of an event, DAYS. It’s a numbness that I can’t even penetrate when I want to. I am not a victim. I am the high school drop out that earned a college degree just so I could prove everyone wrong. I am the mother, daughter, and wife that loves unconditionally. I am a survivor, my story is about resilience. It’s about bringing hope to the hopeless.